Archive for July, 2007

Crash: The Poem

(by request: Please write a poem about idiot thugs who keep calling the Arab guy
behind the counter at Subway “Paco” (as in, “I want swiss on that
Paco. YO, like, alotta swiss Paco son.”) even though he was clearly
of Middle Eastern decent, and his nametag clearly said “Hamid.”)

Never you mind, dear Paco,
No mayo do I now require.
Just keep those Swiss cheese slices coming
And please try to lower your ire.

We see that you’re wanting to jump us,
We know your name’s prob’ly Hamid,
But before with your knuckles you thump us,
Remember: can we even read?

You suffer unfairly this evening,
You’re Arab, not Latin, we know.
We all have our crosses to bear, friend
Sometimes you must just let it go.

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(by request: “can you write a poem about how libraries are alternately the most fascinating and boring places on the planet?”)

O Romeo what is this madness?
You’ve spent shillings on a new book?
Our library local doth have it,
I’m sure, if you’d just take a look.

For there you may find Silas Marner,
And there you may take out The Prince
In fact last year I took my father
And have not heard word from him since!

What can one do at a library
That cannot be done safe at home?
You say they are sources of wisdom,
All knowledge contained in a tome.

But I find it ever so boring,
Though you find your way ’round with aplomb.
When I want the newest Jane Austen…
It’s A-M-A-Z-O-N dot com!!

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