(by request – Well, I can’t really quote him because he just said ‘WRITE’ and then linked me to this picture:)
A friend of mine likes Southern stuff
(Jeff Davis, Stonewall, Jeb)
He’s one step short of C. War Buff,
A sentimental Reb.
But yesterday he crossed a line
From “interested” to “kitsch,”
The little, old Lee statuette
He purchased from Craigslist.
It’s not the fact that it is Lee,
Or that it’s made of tin,
It’s Lee’s expression on his face
That really does me in.
He looks as if he’s been surprised
By some such pleasant news,
Like someone’s just to him apprised
The Grays have beat the Blues.
Or even just a humbler thing,
Like “Bob, your oatmeal’s ready!”
Or “Traveller the Horse can sing!”
Or “It’s your nephew, Freddy!”
Or “Santa’s brought a special treat!”
Or “School’s been closed for snow!”
Or “General Grant’s got gross webbed feet!”
I guess we’ll never know.